Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Rabbit, Part II

“Jackie, I'm tired of you.  Your ass is too small.” 

A greying Dr. Baltar gets out of his chair and leaves the room his current wife, Jackie, is in.

Jackie, a beautiful, thirty-something-year-old brunette, picks up a picture of the two of them and gazes at it, more out of habit than for nostalgia.  She quickly gathers her things together, knowing that shortly she'll have to leave.

Dr. Baltar treats each marriage like an eighty-night stand.  Jackie is Dr. Baltar's 25th wife. And though Jackie is beautiful, witty, and well-accomplished as a robotic engineer, Dr. Baltar is bored, and so, enough is enough.

Dr. Baltar walks into a room full of smart-looking men. 

The true issue at hand: Experiment #337.

“Gentlemen,” Baltar starts, “the bothersome PETAVONA is at it again, this time, again attacking animal testing in our labs.”

“But I thought those laws were passed?” one gentleman asks.

“Which laws are you referring to?” Baltar questions the man, wondering himself.

“The laws that allow us to test on animals for the good of mankind, you know, etc.”

Another man irritably answers, “We're losing precious time...”

“I know,” says Baltar, “I know.”

“We should just kill them,” a teenage intern suggests, only half-joking.  Everyone stares at him, addressing his gruesome acne.

“May we all take a moment to count Adam's pimples,” Dr. Baltar commands.

“But what about PETAVONA, sir?” says the gentleman.

“I've counted eleven so far...” says Dr. Baltar.

"Pimples?" asks the gentleman.   He stares at Adam.

"Well, if it matters at all, I've just counted fourteen." he softly admits.

Adam solemnly accepts their singling out his acne as punishment for making one bad joke.

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